Meet My Dog Donut
Matty Note: Hello there reader! If you want to skip the background about how sad I was feeling pre-dog and get straight to the dog pics, click here to meet my dog Donut. Don't worry about it!
Before Donut
In the begginning of 2023 I was feeling pretty down. I had moved to a new place, I had an impotant relationship end, and I was in the middle of navigating the rocky landscape of mental health care. My new apartment was virtually empty. I tossed a lot of things I owned when I moved out of my old place. I had no furnuture beyond a couch, a bed frame, and a little table in the kitchen that had survived the purge. The walls were bare, and unpainted. I patched some holes, but I couldn't decide on paint so I left the job half finished. I was stuck in a miasma of bad feelings and I couldn't see the way forward for myself. The new year passed, and soon enough it was March in Chicago. It was cold, dreary, and I was lonely.
I had moved into this place a few months prior in November of 2022, and I was excited! I was ready for the challenge of building out a new space for myself. During the pandemic I had left my home on the North side of Chicago and moved back with my parents. I had lived up on the North side for over a decade, and moving back home was very difficult for me. I felt very defeated when I moved back in with them. I had meant to stay a few months until I found a new place to rent, but ended up staying a year (big oof). It was very difficult living with them again after being so independent for so long. It was very emotionally draining as well. There was so much relief felt when I moved into the new place. I finally had some real momentum - which I hadn't felt since the start of pandemic.
The momentum and hopeful feelings about starting fresh in my new space unfortunately were not lasting feelings. My personal life, and my mental health issues were only part of why my good feelings evaporated. Another contributor was that my expectations of my life in the new space just did not align with the reality life in the new space. I lost access to nearby parks in the old neighborhood, there was a phenominal amount of road noise in the morning and evenings at my new apt, I also slowly realized that meeting my friends somewhere usually meant an hour and a half odyssey on Chicago's struggling CTA. It was very jarring. Things just were not feeling right and it brought me down.
I spent a few months being completely stuck. I felt strongly that I needed to make a change in my life. I made a big change. I adopted a dog from a local shelter.
Meet Donut!
I had always wanted a dog. My previous home where I lived for ten years didn't allow dogs over a certain size, so I never got one. Being denied a dog was one of the reasons I moved out of that place and back to my parents. There were other reasons too of course: the pandemic, cockroaches (haha), being unable to find a new place before the lease was up, no central air, blah blah. There were a confluence of issues, but the dog thing was always something that bothered me about living there. My plan at my new place was to get situated and then try to find a shelter to work with for adoption. It took a little while, but immediately after I got a couch, I went to find a dog.
This is Donut! He is a (roughly) three year old mixed breed. The shelter where I adopted him thought he was mostly likely some kind of German Shepard and Husky mix. He's got a lot of features of both breeds: double coat, giant paws, brushy tail, and he's super vocal. His name at the shelter was "Galen" and I just could not make that work. It just felt really odd to say. I decided to call him Donut because he was a real sweetie, and because I really wanted a coffee.
Look at those little dots he's got for eyebrows! Cute! What a distinguished little gentleman!
I live in a neighborhood with a lot of dogs (like, a cartoonish amount), and I was wary of adopting a dog that was not chill with other dogs being around. This was going to be my first time as a dog owner and I didn't want to adopt more than I'd be able to handle. That wouldn't have been fair to the dog, and it would have been super stressful for me. When I initially reached out to the shelter they sent me a series of questions about what exactly I was looking for, and what my experience level was. I was really appreciative of this because it gave me a little time to reflect on what I was looking for in a companion, but also become more aware of the responsibilities of dog ownership. They were very nice to work with, and were able to answer some of my more basic questions about stuff like behavioral differences in male/females as well as adoption logistics.
After a little communicating we sheduled a shelter visit to meet some dogs they thought I would be a good fit for.
I met Donut at the shelter during a walk through the kennels, he was the only dog that brought a toy over to me when I visited his cubicle. He was very excited to meet me! I asked to meet him outside his cubicle, and they took us both to an outdoor play area to hang out for a bit. He was so pumped up he ran circles around me. We played with a little toy for a while and I talked to the volunteer about what to expect from him if I were to leave with him. Eventually, I decided to bring him home with me.
Prior to adopting, I did a lot of research on YouTube and other places about dog ownership. I wanted to know what to expect, how to handle problems, get an idea of what the adjustment period after adoption would be like, and most importantly I wanted to know how to manage the dog and train him. I did my best to prepare and learn how to be a "good" dog owner to the extent that was possible. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect, and how my own life and schedule would need to adjust. I knew that the little guy would depend on me for everything: food, water, love, exercise, and etc. I also imagined how transformative and fun having a dog would be. I imagined spending time outside at cafes with the dog, long walks, cuddling, going on adventures, and all the fun stuff that comes with dog ownership.
I was really excited to bring Donut home. I wanted a pup for so long and finally had one! I was ready for him! I realized quickly though that my expectations of dog ownership were not aligned with reality. There's a theme developing here!
Donut was really great inside the house, but outside he was an absolute terror. His leash training really didn't exist. He'd also lunge at people and other dogs. He wasn't aggressive or anything but he just really really really wanted to meet everyone he encountered. It was exhausting. I started to take him out at odd hours to decrease our chances of meeting other people and dogs because I was having a tough time keeping 55 pounds of Donut from pulling towards them. There are so many dogs in my neighborhood though that it became a very frustrating game of pac-man that I'd inevitably lose whenever I played.
I also severely underestimated just how much physical work a dog would be. I live on the third floor and I need to go up and down stairs to take him out. He's gotta go out minimum about six times a day. I usually take him around the block when he goes out otherwise he doesn't use the bathroom enough and will bother me to go out again in 30 minutes. He also had absolutely boundless energy. No amount of walking seemed to make him tired. We'd get back from outside and he'd want to play!
My ability to do work also suffered. I worked from home and until Donut really got adjusted to my schedule it was really hard to do my job. Even after he got adjusted, it was still hard. I'd have to get up to take him out, or whatever and be interrupted almost routinely. It was hard to come back from outside - tired - and sit down to begin work again.
I'm not ashamed to say that the first few months had me depressed. I had fantasized about having a dog and what I had imagined just wasn't the reality. The reality was a lot of work. I went from being mostly sedentary during the day to walking something like 10k steps, and doing that every day. I didn't have a lot of energy to do anything but manage the dog. It really drained me. My fantasy of hanging out at cafes and outdoor seating really wasn't possible with him freaking out whenever he saw a dog or if a person looked at him or said "hi". It was a really really difficult period of adjustment. I think most new dog owners probably must have a similar emotional response to the realities of dog ownership. No two dogs are alike, and they all have their own unique challenges. I wasn't able to socialize Donut as a puppy. I adopted a two year old dog who wasn't neutered and spent an unknown amount of time as a stray. I had to meet him where he was at, and I had to adjust my expectations.
It took a lot of work to train him enough to where taking him around the block on the leash wasn't an arduous task. I had to teach him almost everything. The only thing he knew how to do when I got him was "sit", but he certainly wasn't interested in "stay". His time as a stray also led to some challenging behaviors like picking up almost anything he could off the ground and trying to eat it.
While he had some problems - and still does - he also has a ton of good qualities, too. Firstly, he's absolutely cute as heck. He is such a happy and friendly guy. He loves to meet people, and loves to meet other dogs. He's not aggressive at all, good around kids, he doesn't chew on anything but his toys (and boy howdy, does he chew those), and he's super smart and has been able to pick up new things pretty quickly with positive reinforcement. He's very loyal and loves to hang out with me! He's also very vocal which is both funny, sweet, and sometimes a little annoying - but in a very charming way.
Eventually I did adjust to life with the dog, just as I eventually adjusted to life in my new neighborhood. Both took a lot of time and patience. A year+ later, he's still a real pain in my ass sometimes, but I love him and I really cannot imagine my home without him.
What a doofus.